2009 17th WOSonOS
OPEN SPACE REPORT FORM
Topic Name: THE "FEELING" OF OPEN SPACE
Convenor Suzanne Daigle
Participants (including Bumble Bees)Teresa, Isac, Yong and 2 Taiwan people who came to tell us they had to leave but supported this topic and its importance very much.
Insights, Questions Raised, Possible Actions, Recommendations, etc:
Together we began our session with about 10 minutes of meditative silence so we could "feel" our environment and "feel" each other's presence.
Sharing on the personal level of what our own emotions/feelings are relative to Open Space when we are new to it, then know it more to the different roles either as a facilitator or a participant. This is written in such a way as to capture the intimacy of what we discussed while preserving and making safe the very private information that was shared which we all felt is at the heart of what Open Space is all about. Open Space is about "feeling" more than about words. It's about being "open" to allow our feelings to emerge. Feelings are what connect people and letting feelings happen leads to sharing in an authentic way. It what happens that makes it work.
The "We" will often be used even though in some cases, what was expressed was the opinion of one or two people.
We spoke of the initial discomfort that starts even before you get to Open Space - how that feels not knowing what it is all about with people you don't know and who you fear may judge you especially if you are someone who does not tend to speak much. Compounding this here was the worry of not being able to speak the language well, wondering if we would be understood. It is all about feeling safe inside ourselves.
We talked about how much space it consumes in the head to hold ourselves back, to feel comfortable to totally be ourselves, to question, to doubt if we will say the right thing, talk too much or talk too little. .
We talked about how that shifts during Open Space, how it shifted here and how much safer we all feel to be who we are, to speak what we want to say, to listen more intently, to be who we are comfortably. What was also mentionned was the choice to not speak, knowing that whatever you wanted to say will probably be said by others and that by holding back, and by listening, perhaps what you will say will contribute something new that will be of more value to the group. Yes there are times when one felt we wanted to say something and we didn't seize the moment so it did not get said. Those who are less outspoken will often be reluctant to jump right in, compete with others who always talk more. A good facilitator opening space may help model the invitation to create space for those who typically speak less even if it is the intention inside them.
As a facilitator, whatever you feel inside transmits; if you feel angry, controlling or whatever, it will be felt.Discussions of how people want to appear smart, how society often judges smart by having quick answers, clarity (especially in the West) when in fact to respond too quickly without reflecting, does not equal intelligence. Real transformation does not always come from the contribution of people who speak quickly; for real change, most times it is ignited by those who speak wisely after reflection, listening and then contributing.
We also acknowledged however that communication or personality style also reflects if people are outspoken or less so and we need all kinds in a group.
Another discussion area was about the merits of showing your feelings. Society in many and probably most cultures interprets the showing of emotions as being weak, less powerful, more dependent (children for example are authentic in their emotions). Power often means shows less of your emotions.
We spoke of gender differences: if men cry, he is a poor guy, with no value, no power and no one will listen to you. More accepted if women cry. Yet women can be very powerful with the expression of their feelings and emotions.
People often weigh and "think" about how much they will show of themselves and in which group. We can't be spontaneous otherwise you lose. Open Space evolves an environment where people grow increasingly safe to be themselves.
In our private lives with people that are close to us, we will more often show our true selves: if we are happy, our family and friends know; if we are sad, they will know. If we can't be that way, they will not be our friends.
In Open Space, the role of the facilitator is important to Open Space and Hold the Space, being present whether by cleaning up the room, refreshing the supplies, and just being there in a silent way.
The facilitator and others should trust the process... or even "submit" to the process trusting that in the group, this trust factor and evolving safety will happen as it is meant to happen. We should not worry so much about it.
We talked about how Open Space mirrors life at the cellular level, like cells connecting together -- we can feel the energy and the spirit. Like cells who are optimally being who they are, you don't always have to know the whole, you just need to know that whatever role you are in being your cell contributes to the whole, you are functioning as a group. Again "submitting" or "trusting" the process. There were different opinions here as to whether you can be that trusting, I would like to "hope" it would be so but I don't know if I can, said one participant.
In closing, we all agreed that we had been extremely open, listening more, talking more, sharing more because we felt safe and with this safety, it allowed us to go deeper. You cannot go deeper if you don't feel safe. Deeper leads to better, relationships and wise action.
We ended our time together as visitors arrived, a young girl who, with a chance meeting, at the subway on the first night of our arrival (Lisa Heft, Larry Peterson and Suzanne), had "felt" our energy and after a lengthy dialogue asking us about Open Space had felt drawn to attend. A fitting ending to our session about "feeling" Open Space.
